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Blood and Rhetoric
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20th-Jun-2009 02:14 pm - XKCD 594
Did you know that menstrual pain comes in 413 nanohertz? Exactly:

Just for handy reference: the XKCD Period comic.
9th-Jan-2008 02:41 pm - oh, McSweeney's, how I loff you
puppet flasher by poisoninjest
An Open Letter to Mr. James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Procter & Gamble.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

(Also, this one isn't menstruation-related -- though it is genitalia-related -- but it is very funny.)
Me: As usual when this time comes, I'm reading my stock of red humor.

grey_bard: It helps?

Me: Yes.

grey_bard: Of course, by older definitions of the word, the curse *is* red humor
5th-Mar-2007 01:04 am - '...it makes sense.'
No Batarang For You
odditycollector makes the best tampon ads ever, using Photoshop, her terrifyingly wonderful brain, and DC comics art.
1st-Jun-2006 04:16 pm - Two links
My Little Pony
I went seeking an infamous rant by naamah_darling to rec to this community, and whilst hunting through her memories turned up a second one almost as good, so here they both are:

Bloody Hell!

The Menstrual Fairy! <-- Edited to remove link in case of objection by post's author
30th-May-2006 02:18 am - Welcome to the conspiracy!
I am the Layton Legacy, Fight Oppression
So, fairestcat and I have had this community sitting around for awhile eating its head off, occasionally thinking we ought to do something with it.

And we read littera_abactor's wonderous menstrual rant, and we were INSPIRED. A community for menstrual rants.

No, better. A RECS community for menstrual rants. (After all, it was littera_abactor, otherwise thefourthvine, reccer extraordinaire, who inspired us. And there are so MANY wonderful menstrual rants already. Out there, somewhere, having had their few moments of fame, and now lost to the outer darkness. But if we were to COLLECT them...)

So here we are. Welcome, have a seat, and possibly a hot pad and a stiff drink and some chocolate, please read the community rules carefully, but do come in and join us.

And here is littera_abactor's most EXCELLENT rant Me and My Tampons


"To put in the tampon, find a comfortable position either sitting (with your knees apart) or standing with one foot elevated."

I'm not going to criticize the non-parallel construction there. No, I'm really not, though good Christ how I want to. Instead, I'm going to point out that a woman who needs to be told to sit with her knees apart in order to stick something into her vagina - located, as any qualified health professional will tell you, between her legs - is not ready to be using this product.
1st-Jan-2020 12:01 am - Welcome to the Red Conspiracy!
I am the Layton Legacy, Fight Oppression
Welcome to redconspiracy, a community dedicated to the appreciation of that much underappreciated art-form, the Live Journal Menstrual Rant.

Please read all of the community information before joining

Your friendly mods are fairestcat and commodorified.

You may reach us at fairestcat at livejournal dot com and commodorified at livejournal dot com respectively, or, in a pinch, by dropping a comment into one of our personal ljs.

Some Never Yet Asked Questions:

1) What is the purpose of this community?

To recommend Excellent and Memorable posts on menstruation and other interesting attention-seeking behaviours of the human female reproductive system.

a) And this includes what?

Menstruation, ovulation, spotting, menarche, menopause, perimenopause, pregnancy, labour and delivery, post-partum, yeast infections, STDs, medication side effects...

b) And this excludes what?

Posts about female or human sexuality and reproductive health which a) do not focus primarily on The Girly Bits (rants about breasts should only be recc'd if EXTREMELY memorable), b) are not Memorable or c) are not compatible with the Basic Principles Of This Community.

2) And those Principles are?

a) This community is pro-freedom of expression. It is also pro-feminist, pro-woman, woman-centric, and pro-on-topicness.

In other words:

i) Women are people, and that is a Good Thing.

ii) Many people are women, and that is a Good Thing.

iii) Men are also people, and that is a Good Thing.
However, they are, in the context of this community, a Good Thing which is generally Off-Topic.

iv) Being Off-Topic is a Bad Thing.

b) We are, however, largely neutral on the topic of menstruation, and consider its status as Good Thing or Bad Thing to be a highly contextual and personal decision.

c) Posts must be Memorable.

d) None of this is even remotely negotiable.

If you can live with that, you should join. If you cannot, you should not join.

3) I'm not entirely sure about all that. What do I do now?

If you feel the desire to debate or challenge the validity of any of these statements at length, you should join a community meant for that purpose and do so there. You are welcome to join this community in the meantime, as long as you are willing while here to abide by the Basic Principles.

4) Can I be a member of this community?

Membership in this community is open to all genders. Transgendered persons are very welcome here, whether currently female, formerly female, in transition, or at any other stage of their lives.

People who are both biologically and socially men are welcome to participate here, and are expected to conduct themselves at all times as gentlemen. The decisions of the mods as to what constitutes gentlemanly behaviour is wide-ranging, tolerant, and open-minded but also fundamentally dictatorial and utterly final.

This community does not require members to be any particular age; it is open to both adults and persons who intend to become adults.

Both sorts are expected to live up, to the best of their ability, to adult standards of behaviour. The mods are the final judge of whether adequate effort is being shown.

5) I don't have a rant to recommend; I need urgent advice about my OWN Girly Bits, because they're doing something funny. May I ask my question here?

We won't yell, scream, or ban you, unless you do it more than once, but we'd really rather you didn't. Not because we don't believe in sharing knowledge, but because we're really not set up to help you.

If you actually have no good alternative to getting your sexual health care over the internet, please, at least get it from bona fide experts:

Planned Parenthood of America
San Francisco Sex Information -- a free information and referral switchboard providing anonymous, accurate, non-judgmental information about sex.
Scarleteen: Sex education for the real world
sexualityandu.ca -- sexuality education and information from the Society of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists of Canada
Playing Safely -- safer sex and sexual health information from the NHS
Sexual Health and Family Planning Australia
Sexual Health and Family Planning Victoria
Planned Parenthood International
Planned Parenthood International, Western Region (Americas)
Planned Parenthood Teenwire

If things aren't quite that urgent, here are some Live Journal Communities our members have recommended as being of great worth:

vaginapagina for all your girlybits-related questions.

menstrual_lib for menstrual activism (very nice comm)

menstrual_cups, cloth_pads and diy_pads if you want to explore alternative menstrual products

amipregnant if you're wondering if you're, you know, pregnant.

6) What can I rec, again?

Rants, raves, and other Memorable posts on Girl Bits, primarily menstruation.

a) May I post a rant here?

No, please don't. From time to time, one of us will post an open thread. Please wait for that.

b) Can I rec my own rant, then?

We'd rather you didn't. If it's really Memorable, someone will rec it for you.

c) Do I need the Original Poster's permission to post a link to a rant here?

Yes, you do. Leave them a comment asking, and wait until there's a comment giving permission up there before reccing it.

d) May I quote from a locked post here?

No, you may not. If you can't persuade them to unlock it, alas, we'll be missing that one.

e) I've got a great one, but aside from being menstrual it's racist, misogynistic, homophobic, or otherwise just plain vile. What should I do?

"Some people can be funny without being vulgar. Some people can be funny and vulgar at once. I should recommend you to try one or the other."

If the rant's "humour" comes entirely or primarily from its presumed shock value, we've all seen bigotry before, honest. Whatever thrill there once was is gone. Skip it, please.

f) What about sheer evil blood-stained disgustingness?

Oh, that's just fine. This IS a menstrual rant reccing community, after all. Carry on.

g) May I promote my new community here?


You may send the link to one of us, though. If you're a current member who has been posting on-topic for awhile and your community is also at least vaguely on topic, we'll probably promote it for you.

7) What happens when everything goes pear-shaped?

a) Someone recc'd a post I think is offensive, or recc'd a post by someone I loathe!

It happens. Kindly don't behave in such a way that nobody will ever want to join us, know us, or be recc'd by us again.

b) We're being trolled! What should I do?

Nothing. Really. It is strictly forbidden to feed, play with, or bait the trolls. Besides, you don't know where they've been.

IF and only if you have the steely, even temper of an Estwing Hammer and the tone control of David Bowie, you may gently divert said troll from its purpose through judicious use of mocking non sequiturs until we get back and notice it, at which point it will be swatted briskly. Feel free to contact one of us by email, if you like, as well.

c) Someone's posted in a way that breaks a community rule. May I flame them?

Only if you were just leaving anyway.

IF, as mentioned above, you possess the steely, even temper of an Estwing Hammer and the tone control of David Bowie, you may GENTLY point out the error in a way which presumes that they have made an error in good faith. If that gets you nowhere, wait for us to handle it, please.
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